OCS Commissioning Parade

Before I go on to the actual topic, let me share this lovely poem I suddenly found while browsing through my copy of Harold Bloom's 'The Best Poems of the English Language'.

This Consciousness that is aware - Emily Dickinson

This Consciousness that is aware
Of Neighbours and the Sun
Will be the one aware of Death
And that itself alone

Is traversing the interval
Experience between
And most profound experiment
Appointed unto Men -

How adequate unto itself
Its properties shall be
Itself unto itself and None
shall make discovery.

Adventure most unto itself
The Soul condemned to be -
Attended by a single Hound
Its own identity.

What I thought was interesting was the focus upon identity, soul and consciouness and the speaker's thoughts on death. I liked how the speaker captured the omniscience of consciousness, presumably encapsulated in the soul, when he mentions that consciousness is 'the one aware of Death/ And that itself alone/ Is traversing the interval/ Experience between...' The word 'interval' acknowledges the finite nature of life itself, and the speaker regards LIFE as 'experience', as part of a larger 'profound experiment appointed unto men'. While 'experiment' makes it somewhat clinical, 'appointed' clearly draws it back to the idea of the divine and the presence of something larger than life above us all.

However even so, death itself is only known to itself. 'None/ shall make discovery'. No one can gain knowledge about death. 'Experience' ends with death. Life ends with death. Since consciousness cannot preclude life, it is such that Man will always be painfully aware of DEATH as a condition, just as one knows ones neighbours, or his/her surroundings, but cannot KNOW it per se.

I thought the word 'discovery' and the tone of exploration and curiosity made it an interesting take on the speaker's attitude towards 'death'. Since life is about experience, it is hence also like an 'adventure' full of 'discovery'. That is the essence of life. To discover is to experience. The experience itself makes it like an adventure. The 'interval' between birth and death is therefore, an adventure itself, as we attempt to find out and indeed KNOW MORE about who or what we are, and what everything really is or what they mean. In this case, the soul is therefore CONDEMNED to adventure. We cannot run away from new experiences, just as we cannot run away from LIFE. To live is to experience.

I did find the last line interesting and am not too sure what to make of it, though I gather that 'adventure' is that 'single Hound' which attends to the Soul, and therefore is it's identity. Not sure that I agree with that conclusion, but it's worth thinking about.

--- Moving on ---

I just came back from Jiawei's Commissioning Parade. I am so proud of you my dear bro.

I couldn't help but feel sad when I see all these young men (and women) experiencing emotions which I hadn't felt in a long while. The elation and joy of being somewhat 'liberated' from what seemed to be a tortuous 9 months. And yet, there's that sense of pride in it all. Something inside them that says 'Hey, I survived, and I'm tougher now'. That's something bonding them together and it's something I don't get to experience. Once again, I'm out of the current, and it sucks.

Chor was talking to me about BMT this morning and it seemed that he really liked it. I beg to differ. Did it change my life? Non. Not when I'm surrounding by whiny arseholes who cant stop complaining for nuts. (no offense!) It's this utter lack of purpose which disgusts me and makes me sick. That's not the way to win the 'hearts and minds' of the people. How can we let this group of people fall through the net being disgruntled with everything?

When I think about war and real soldiers who have seen real action, I become painfully aware of the naivety, ignorance and juvenile attitudes all around me. There is something wrong with everything, but I just don't know what.

When soldiers grow old, they tell their grandchildren abt their war stories, describe their medals and fill them with fear and awe at the same time. When I go to university, I become the laughing stock of my peers when I tell them I went through National Service doing less than 100 push-ups and being at the beck and call of secretaries.

some 50 years back, when the British and French had National Service, they would share if their friends abt their exploits in the Somme, Africa, Iraq, etc. When people look at me, they can't believe I had actually been in service. It's a big joke. When I meet up with my own peers decades later, I hardly have anything in common with them.

So many men find the military appealing because it appeals to their innate competitive nature. A civilised outlet for innate aggression, competition, and camaderie. They get a sense of pride, and vanity, from accomplishing courses, missions, operations. That's something that people outside of the circle, and yes, the less masculine of the race, cannot comprehend. You take that all away, and they are nothing. Or rather, nothing different that the common office rat. subdued.